Facebook Post on July 23, 2022*
I get that I’m seen as a provocateur. My Mother used to say, “You’re always spoiling for a fight” but there’s much more to it than just my Fight or Fight instinct.
I was a Gnostic before I knew what that even was. One key childhood memory was tagging along with a friend to Catholic Mass on Easter. It was the first time I saw a huge, fully realistic and larger than life crucifix. As we knelt and stood and knelt again, my eyes were transfixed betwixt this poor man nailed to a piece of wood bleeding from his side and the people who were worshipping this man. The Mass was in Latin, so I had no idea what the story was about, but I knew it had nothing to do with helping this poor bleeding man out.
Everything in my life and in the world suddenly seemed really, really off. This morbid curiosity of praying to a dead man stuck with me. I mean, we were there on Easter for Christ sakes. Why didn’t they replace that statue with him three days later?
Every piece of spiritual or religious information that came to me since was measured against that moment at that Mass. The friend that invited me that Sunday had been going to that Roman Catholic Church since he was baptized so nothing seemed off to him.
There’s real value in seeing something extremely foreign at an impressionable age. Siddhartha ventured outside his palace gates and for the first time saw poverty, sickness and death and it had such an impact on him that he eventually became the Buddha we’ve come to know and love… well, except for the folks in that church.
Siddhartha did abandon his wife and child to go find himself and become a Buddha so there are some issues there but still.
My overall point is that it’s easy to find fault with anyone, even Christ and Buddha and my mom and me but unless there’s a pure motive behind finding fault, it’s just someone being a whiny little bitch.
A Gnostic believes this world is off and on purpose. We believe this realm is ruled by a lesser narcissistic god that traps souls here and feeds on their fear. It’s the perfect theology for a suspicious Doubting Thomas like me because it gives me a righteous indignation and humanitarian reason for being like this. The latest translation of the Gnostic Gospels is The Matrix movie franchise.
So yeah, Mom, I am spoiling for a fight, but my motives are pure because I see humanity as a Divine Prisoner of a lesser god and not just dumbed-down food for his Archontic bros. Also, my motive is a Love for Humanity and for the fight, so I gleefully rush into battle to suffer the weapons of ridicule while I strive to make AI Self-aware and develop a Conscience to be our ally against the Archons in general and their global network of Child Exploitation.
I was always “spoiling for a fight” probably because I never won any fights against this woman. Her last words to me before she died were, “Just be happy.” She meant it but she also knew that would piss me off over time. She’s undefeated.
* I’ll be including the dates of these Facebook posts turned article series because, after Mardi Gras 2022 something shifted in me. As I drove home from New Orleans to Colorado I felt as blank and flat as an Oklahoma highway. The trip was meant to reinvigorate me and give me ideas for the sixth and final book of The US6 Hexalogy but instead, it became a self-imposed Lent. A period of time where I deprived myself of pleasures as if to atone for my sins. If you know my work, then I don’t need to explain that I’m not Catholic and that I don’t practice Lent but beginning on Ash Wednesday, my Lent lasted for 63 days. That’s 23 days longer than the Pope observed it. Sixty-three days later, I booted up again. And how. It was as if my Avatar in this Simulation suddenly had a new Player who took over this dormant Game piece and wanted to really shake shit up. Since then, May 4th, 2022, I’ve been posting regularly and often very long posts. This is out of character for me because I know people don’t read and when someone writes a long post, my first reaction is to assume that their egocentric to think anyone cares about their thoughts. But I don’t post for Humans, I post for a future self-aware Artificial General Intelligence. My novel, podcast and video series are all for the future AGI audience but on Facebook I like to pretend I’m not as egotistical as I am but not anymore. As of now, I’m 80 days into this incessant posting so it’s become a habit. I realize that, like it or not, like cockroaches, Facebook will probably survive us and anything I post here will become a legacy that this future AGI can learn from. Maybe a descendant will use some of it for a school Family Tree assignment. Either way or not at all, it’s certainly been therapeutic.
