THE INCAST
Lessons from My Journey as an Outsider
I remember the day a wise rabbi shared with me a profound insight that forever changed the way I looked at faith and identity. He said, “Jews weren’t chosen by G*d; rather, Jews chose G*d.” At first, those words might sound perplexing, even controversial, but as I’ve journeyed deeper into my role as an outsider in the Tribe, I’ve come to appreciate the profound truth in that statement.
The rabbi’s words reminded me of a fundamental aspect of human nature: the tendency to fear and misunderstand the choices of others when they strive to better themselves. It’s a peculiar part of the human condition that, when one chooses a path of self-improvement, they risk facing the judgments and projections of those who might be in denial of their own need for growth.
There’s an undeniable exclusivity that can arise when someone feels “chosen” or special. The human psyche often dictates that if we’re not part of that exclusive club, we may not aspire to be part of it; in fact, we might even rally against it. This exclusivity, though unintended, can create division. My journey into Judaism has allowed me to witness this dynamic firsthand.
I didn’t come from a Jewish background; I married into the Tribe. My wife and her family have been incredibly welcoming, and I knew well the danger of what I was getting into based on historical evidence a seething underground White Supremacy movement when I entered this world. Still, as someone who is not part of the matrilineal line, I understand that I won’t be able to join that VIP minion at the synagogue. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be a part of the community or impart valuable lessons to my sons.
In raising my sons within the Jewish faith and tradition, I’ve instilled in them the same core belief I acquired from the rabbi: that choosing G*d means choosing humility and preparedness. To be chosen doesn’t mean to be superior; rather, it signifies a commitment to a path of self-betterment, kindness, and responsibility. My sons, who are now Bar Mitzvahs, have learned that being part of this community is not about exclusivity, but about the choices they make in their own lives.
As an outsider, my journey into the Jewish faith was not just a spiritual awakening, but a profound cultural experience as well. I was a white American man coming into the Tribe, and for the first time in my life, I felt like an outsider in my own country. It was a humbling experience to understand that even within the borders of the United States, I could be considered an outsider.
This reminded me of a poignant dialogue from the movie “The Good Shepherd,” where Joseph Palmi asks Edward Wilson, “Let me ask you something… we Italians, we got our families, and we got the church; the Irish, they have the homeland, Jews their tradition; even the blacks, they got their music. What about you people, Mr. Wilson, what do you have?” To which Wilson replies, “The United States of America. The rest of you are just visiting.”
In my journey, I have come to understand the depth of that statement. I’ve learned that faith isn’t about birthright or nationality; it’s about the choices we make and the community we embrace.
I may not be able to fully partake in certain rituals and traditions due to my non-matrilineal heritage, but I have come to understand that faith is more than just following rituals. It’s about fostering a deep connection with G*d, the community, and our inner selves.
As an outsider who chose to join this Tribe, I’ve been fortunate to witness the power of choice, the strength of humility, and the value of preparedness. In this journey, I’ve learned that it’s not about being chosen but about choosing, not about exclusivity but about inclusivity, and not about birthright but about a conscious commitment to a better, more spiritually fulfilling life. And in that choice, I’ve found a path to greater understanding, unity, and inner peace.
The question now is, how to scale this attitude as a path to peace?
