Jiva Talkin’

Facebook Post on July 6, 2022*

Before my meds kick in to help me pretend everything is okay and convince me to delete this post later, I wanted to share some vulnerable honesty.

I keep deactivating my profile then reactivating it because I’m too chicken to delete the damn thing because I know these feelings will pass like weather and there is so much content here that would vanish even though I know none of it matters and it’s just a tether for my Jiva — my ego and temporary persona.

One reason I keep deactivating (hiding it) is because there are a couple gigs, I’m in the running for and recruiters stalk candidates’ social media to get a sense of who the person is. If you’re familiar with me and my Gnostic Warlock ways, you can see how this is an issue for me.

The other reason is how upsetting this Archontic platform is. I’m no different than the people who brag about being on the path of Ascension or sharing atheistic articles to knock “magical thinkers” down a peg. I say I’m no different because I deign to complain about these folks as if I had any moral high ground or special knowledge.

I’m completely projecting my insecurities onto these people who have at least found a productive way to be in denial. I can’t even do that. All I can really do is admit that I’m projecting in hopes that seeming this humble will make people like me.

I loved social media in the beginning and, like many of its original programmers felt it a positive force for connecting us. But just like the subordinate Monkeys who chose Cocaine over food in that study, we’ve chosen self-aggrandizing dopamine hits over authentic connection in the end.

Or hopefully, near the end.

I still believe there’s a way to let social media make us stronger instead of killing our souls and I recognize the need for things to get out of hand before they reset as a positive force but if we don’t try now, like right now, by sharing authentic vulnerable truths, this ego inflaming platform will pop and take us with it.

I’m starting to feel a little lighter as the meds kick in so I’m going to post this now and try my hardest not to delete it in 15 minutes.